Every time I hear someone say, “The Catholic Church is so sexist and prejudiced,” I always respond with, “You should come visit my church, Saint Kateri Parish. Our patron is a Native American woman who had a facial disfigurement and was even partially blind.”  The stunned silence that follows is priceless.

Now I can’t paint with all the colors of the wind, but I can tell you the story of Saint Kateri Tekakwitha!

Okay, I know that this is a more glamorized depiction of her, but she really did have a scarred face and weak eyes.  Before I explain how that happened, let’s go back to the beginning.

Kateri Tekakwitha was born in 1656 in Auriesville, which today is known as upstate New York, so technically she is a New Yorker.  [DISCLAIMER: Get ready for some seriously hard-to-pronounce-words in 3…2…1] She was the daughter of a Mohawk chief and a woman named Tagaskouita, who was an Algonquin Christian.  In her day, small pox was the kiss of death.  If you had it, it was game over for you.  Only the most hardy souls survived, and among them was a four-year old girl.  When small pox wiped out her entire village, including her parents and younger brother, the little girl was adopted by her uncle, an Iroquois chief who was disgusted by her scarred face and poor vision.  As a result, he gave her the derogatory name Tekakwitha, which means, “she who bumps into things.”  The scars on her face made her less attractive to potential suitors, so her uncle felt the need to arrange a marriage for her at the tender age of eight.

In her day, Jesuit missionaries were frequent visitors to that territory due to their mission to convert the Native Americans to Christianity.  As a child, Tekakwitha often had exposure to the words of the humble yet passionate missionaries.  She was moved by the promise of Salvation, and in particular, the emphasis on God’s deep love for each human being.  “Even me,” she probably thought as an outcast in her own tribe.  This led her to open her heart to a God who would accept her when no one else would.  Keep in mind that her mother had been a Christian, so faith was weaved into her youngest memories.  It was the message of the missionaries that has reawakened the faith of her childhood.  Nature was where she felt closest to the Creator, for she would make a cross out of sticks and pray among the trees and woodland creatures.  However she couldn’t be baptized just yet because, well…

In 1666, the Mohawk’s strongholds on the south bank were demolished by a group of French soliders and hostile Natives from Canada.  Tekakwitha and the remaining Mohawks crossed over the north side of the river and sought refuge in a village called Fonda where, at the age of 18, Tekakwitha was baptized into the Roman Catholic Church in secret and took the name Catherine, also known as Kateri.

There was just one major problem: Her uncle was not only repulsed by her, but like Professor Radisson in “God’s Not Dead,” he loathed Christianity.  So when he learned that his niece had become a Christian, he only accepted her decision under the condition that Kateri never leave their tribe.  The Iroquois people may have tolerated her facial disfigurement and blindness before, but now that she was a Christian, the gloves were off and she was made a pariah.  Public ridicule, scornful neighbors, false accusations; Kateri was at the center of the mob mentality.  Yet she never caved or recanted her faith in Jesus.  If anything, the rejection and hate from others only made her stronger.  It assured her that she was on the side of Truth.

Two years after her baptism, Kateri was forced to flee after her life was threatened. She escaped to the Mission of St. Francis Xavier in Caughnawaga, Canada, where she lived with fellow Natives who had converted to Christianity.  She spent the last years of her life here, where she dedicated her days to prayer, self-mortification and acts of charity.   On April 17, 1680, twenty-four year old Kateri Tekakwitha drew her last breath after suffering from a grave illness.  Upon the entrance of her soul into Heaven, the scars on her face faded away, revealing the true beauty of who she was.

On October 21, 2012, Kateri was canonized after prayers to her miraculously healed Jake Finkbonner, whose life had been on the line due to a flesh-eating virus.  She became the first Native American to be declared a Saint.

I think that certainty was Kateri’s defining characteristic.  She was certain that Jesus is Truth.  She was certain that her countercultural faith was worth the scorn of her tribe.  Christianity had empowered her to remove the blanket from her scarred face and shine with the Light of Christ for all to see.

Saint Kateri Tekakwitha, patroness of my home parish and of Catholic Girl Bloggin’, pray for us.

So this is gonna be a short review because it’s almost midnight and I’m tired.  However I can tell you right now that this movie isn’t getting a passing grade.

This is my review of Bad Teacher!

Okay, the misadventures of an obviously unqualified teacher is an interesting premise.  Cameron Diaz’s character Elizabeth is an amoral, self-serving teacher who thinks everyone is enamored with her; that is a creative arch that can be done well.

Unfortunately the writers of this movie were clearly not ready.  The script has a good set-up, but that’s where the creativity ends.  Cameron Diaz does what she can, but batting your eyelashes and sashaying down the halls isn’t character development.  I’m sure she’s very talented, but for a supposedly raunchy teacher, her performance becomes very constrained in the second half.  The same goes for the other actors; Phyllis from The Office only has to say lines awkwardly.  Justin Timberlake looks uncomfortable in his role half of the time.  Jason Seigal, you were in HIMYM; you can do better!

And then there’s Lucy Punch…argh!  I’m sure she’s a funny and talented woman, but holy cow, she is too annoying to put up with.  Obnoxious characters are supposed to annoying the other characters, NOT the audience.

I’m giving Bad Teacher, the stale and half-baked comedy, a D-.

I’ve been getting requests to review this movie since Day 1 of Catholic Girl Bloggin’.  When I started this Christian Movie Marathon, I knew I couldn’t bypass this one.

Without further ado, this is my review of God’s Not Dead.

God’s Not Dead tells the story of Josh Wheaton, a college student who must defend his Christian faith to his philosophy class after refusing to sign a paper with the words “God is Dead.”  He must go up against Professor Jeffrey Radisson, an avowed atheist who forces all the students on the first day of class to sign the “God is Dead” declaration.

I am pleased to announce that this movie is leagues better than Christian Mingle The Movie and Last Ounce of Courage.  However here is my current ranking of Best Christian Movies so far: #1. Grace Unplugged; #2. Soul Surfer; #3. God’s Not Dead.  I will highlight the hits and the misses:

The Hits

I love the rivalry that emerges between Josh and Professor Radisson, and that’s probably because I like rivalry stories.  The scene where Radisson confronts Josh in the hallway and basically tells him that he will ruin him if he continues his arguments is actually kind of terrifying thanks to Kevin Sorbo’s committed performance as Radisson.  My favorite scene between the two characters is the final debate in the classroom.  Josh begins making more personal jabs at Radisson, which keep his character from being completely virtuous.   In turn, we sees Radisson’s composure begin to crack until he finally succumbs to Josh’s emboldened stance.

I found Radisson to be the most compelling character, if not one of my favorite villains.  In fact, I kind of wish the story was told from his point of view.   This is a guy whose disbelief comes from a place of pain.  His atheism is a cover to mask his hatred for God.  He hides behind his intellect to keep his vulnerabilities from coming to light.  Something that my Mother pointed out is that Radisson keeps his relationships superficial; he chooses a circle of shallow intellectuals over deep, personal connections.  The one meaningful romance in his life (his relations with a Christian student named Mina) is one that he puts limits on.  Yes, I will admit that he did come off as the militant atheist stereotype, but I still saw a fully-realized character who undergoes a personal journey that comes full circle in the end.

Alongside the main storyline, there are two subplots: A Muslim girl named Ayisha who is secretly practicing Christianity, and an atheist blogger named Amy whose life comes crashing down after she learns that she is dying from cancer.  Their stories were well-written and could have been their own movies.  The movie never takes any jabs at Islam; in fact there’s one scene where Ayisha’s father tells her, “I know it’s hard to be set apart, but no one here worships God the way He should be worshipped.  You know I love you, Ayisha…” I thought that was a very respectful, human moment.  The scene where her Christianity is discovered and her father kicks her out is a powerful scene.  I appreciate that the father hesitates before kicking her out because it shows that he is torn between his love for his child and his commitment to his own faith.  Meanwhile Amy’s story is a little shaky at first, because she starts off as more of a “militant atheist” caricature than Radisson, but right after the cancer diagnosis, her character begins to develop.  I like when she says, “I don’t have time for cancer” because it tells us that time is the antagonist of her narrative.  I got choked up when the doctor asks, “Is there anyone you would like with you when I tell you this?” “No…there’s no one.” Minutes later the doctor leaves and she’s left sitting in the room, completely alone.  The movie lets the silence of the moment tell us of her pain, and that is more powerful than ten lines of dialogue.

The Misses

What did I say in my review of Christian Mingle The Movie?  (Goes back to the archives) “Yes, I believe that inner peace comes from faith in Jesus, but Christians are allowed to express more than one emotion” (Christian Movie Reviews: Christian Mingle The Movie).  The African preacher Pastor Jude annoyed me.  He was way too happy.  I have nothing against joyful Christians, but even the most joyful and content people can get stressed when the third car from the dealership won’t start.  His friend Pastor Dave is more believable in the situations they find themselves in.   I get that Pastor Jude has an unshakable trust in God, but joy and blind optimism are two different things.

You know how I had so much to say about the peaks and valleys of Professor Radisson’s character?  I wish I could say the same about the main protagonist Josh Wheaton.  Having a character start out as a blank slate and then having him/her progress over time is all fine and good, but when we first meet Josh, his own personal relationship with God is unknown, so his motivations for accepting Radisson’s challenge feels more like a command from the script than an organic decision made by the character.  Also I would like to add that only one person was against his accepting the challenge, and that was his awful girlfriend.  This problem would have been solved if his family knew and were trying to change his mind.  Even better, what if the girlfriend had been Radisson’s daughter?  Don’t be afraid to raise the stakes!   Now to be fair, Josh’s character does evolve especially in the final debate, which is his best moment.  Still I can’t overlook the weak starting points of his arc.

Let’s talk about the ending!  There’s a major spoiler ahead, so if you’re planning on watching the movie, then here is your warning:

[SPOILER ALERT!!!!  5…4…3…2…1] I might be in the minority here, but I really wish that Radisson’s acceptance of God as he is dying was left ambiguous.  As he is dying from internal bleeding, Pastor Dave asks him if he accepts Jesus as his Lord and Savior.  Radisson converts with his last breath.  Though this is how his character comes full circle, which I appreciate, but there is power in the ambiguous ending.  I feel that if Radisson would have died before verbalizing his conversion, it would have given viewers the ability to debate amongst themselves what his decision was.  Given the evolution of his journey, he could have gone either way (accepting or rejecting God).  Ambiguity keeps the viewers coming back for more.

Overall I am happy to say that this movie proves one thing: God and good filmmaking are not dead.  They are very much alive.

On the back of the DVD, there’s a quote from Chuck Norris that reads, “This is a wonderful family film to watch time and time again, as we have in our home.”

Chuck, you’re the epitome of manliness, but you don’t know jack shiz about good cinema.

This is my review of Last Ounce of Courage!

I waited to go into rant mode in my “Christian Mingle The Movie” review, but this whole review is going to be a rant, so here we go:

(Commencing Rant Mode) It’s generally not a good sign when I’m already hitting my face with my movie review notebook (yes, I have one of those cause I like to take notes during a movie) within the first five minutes of a movie.   This movie has a MAJOR structural issue, and that’s made evident in the first five minutes.  The opening scene is filmed as if it were the climax; fast transitions, jump cuts from characters aboard to characters back home, letter-reading voiceovers that have characters saying things that the movie expects us to know about them, even though we’ve just met these people.   Intense openers have their place in movies, but man, it can really kick you in the keister when executed poorly.  On top of that, you’ll notice very quickly that a lot of scenes look like they were edited by a French Revolution executioner with a butcher knife.

I don’t normally criticize character name choices, but holy cow, when your good guys are named “Bob Revere” and “Christian,” and you actually name your antagonist “The Hammer,” that tells me that the filmmakers see these people as props for an agenda, not characters to be fleshed-out and developed.

The narration…Good Lord, the voiceover narration is the reason why the main character is unable to give a good performance.  His whole personality and all of his motivations are explained to us heavy-handedly.  “I had been passive for too long.  My son died for freedom and I had to take a stand…” Gee, Bob, I sure would have loved to have seen this conveyed from a thoughtful performance instead of being spoon-fed to me via narration.

Speaking of character motivations, the people who don’t get voiceover narration just do things out of nowhere.  For instance, when Bob’s son Thomas is killed in Iraq, his daughter-in-law Kari just leaves the family because….the Illuminati!  Then fourteen years later, Kari and her teenage son Christian visit them out of the blue because…unicorns!  Where Grace Unplugged allowed the characters to be believable, Last Ounce of Courage uses each character as a pawn, so this restrains all of the actors from giving any kind of performance.  Also because all of the characters are agenda props, they’re never given realistic motivations or personalities.  Even the poorly-paced Courageous understood proper character development!

As a happy little Independent (I’m Purple, da ba de da ba die), I have nothing against FOX News.  I don’t think they should be compared to Hitler, but they’re certainly not the Messiah of the journalism world.  With all that in mind: This is the kind of movie that FOX News would make.  Every. Single. Line. Of. Dialogue is a red-state talking point, every character fits into the “Conservative Christian White Male” Bible-belt stereotype, and the “save Christmas” ascept is shoehorned into the story with little to no personal connection to the protagonists’ lives.

Religious liberty is an issue in this country (leave Hobby Lobby alone!)  Anyway, this movie intends to tackle this issue, but an incoherent script, constrained acting and preachy, in-your-face dialogue is not going to compel anyone to take the Religious Freedom movement seriously.

Saint Thomas Moore, pray for us.

[Disclaimer: The Babadook was released in Australia last year, and got a DVD release here in the U.S. in April of this year, so that’s why it gets the “2014/2015” in the title]

So I had planned on watching this movie with the lights off, the volume at 100 and wearing my ear buds…By the second half of the movie, the lights were back on, my ear buds were off and I had placed four saints statues on my laptop while clutching onto a crucifix.

This is my review of The Babadook!

Guys and gals, this is gonna be a tough review.  I had to discard the notes I had written while watching the movie because they just didn’t do my real thoughts on the film justice.  The Babadook is virtually perfect, and incredibly harrowing at the same time.  An opening scene that will leave you speechless, great scene transitions and a tense, sorrowful atmosphere bring this movie to Pan’s Labyrinth level of greatness (and yes, I will be reviewing Pan’s Labyrinth in the near future).

Give Essie Davis an Oscar right now. She is devastating as Amelia, one of the most miserable movie characters in recent memory. Amelia Vanak is a glassy-eyed widow whose husband was killed in a car accident while driving her to the hospital to give birth to their troubled son Samuel. Barely functioning with weary eyes and unkempt hair, the grief she carries and the weight of her stress over her wild child is made palpable to the audience.

Noah Weiman plays the little boy Samuel, and as a preschool teacher in real life, I can say that he nails his role as a hyperactive, out-of-control child.  I thought his character was well handled to where I could never hate him because his misbehaving is never intentional.  The film is very clear that he thinks that by making slingshots and dart shooters (out of wood, by the way), he’s protecting his mother from monsters.  He is legitimately unaware that he is the cause of Amelia’s misery.

I don’t issue trigger warnings often because I feel our society will find any reason to use trigger warnings, but this is one of those times where a trigger warning is necessary.   So here are my reasons for the trigger warning.

#1. If you have or are currently experiencing grief, I would urge that you proceed with caution if you plan on watching this.   This movie understands grief so well that it hits too close to home.  I say this as someone who has experienced grief.  I recently lost Sophie, my Old English sheepdog who I’ve had since I was a little girl. I used to watch movies with her sitting in front of the TV.  She would just lay there and let me pet her while listening to me rant at bad movies and praise the good ones to high heaven.  It’s only by the grace of God that I’m still able to sit through a movie at home without Sophie’s paw on my leg.  The Babadook is unflinching in its acknowledgment that when you’ve lost a significant figure in your life, the next few days, months and years are riddled with confusion, emptiness and even the sense that you’ve lost your own purpose.

#2. Speaking of pets, thank God for IMBD’s parental guide.  I knew I was in trouble when I read that a dog has its neck snapped.  If you’ve recently lost a pet (primarily a dog), then it might not be the right time for you to watch this.  I couldn’t watch the actual scene of when the dog is killed.

#3. IMBD’s parental guide mentioned that the movie might send triggers to anyone who has experienced childhood abuse, and that warning is warranted.  The scene where Amelia holds a knife in front of Samuel while she verbally attacks him is disturbing even if you’ve never suffered abuse.  Like in Silver Linings Playbook, the characters are well-written and fully realized that I became distressed for them when things go to Hell.  Also the toxic, codependant relationship between the weak-willed Amelia and the unpredictable Samuel might bring back memories for people who have been in that kind of relationship.

That all being said, don’t let those warnings deter you from The Babadook, a movie that tackles grief and the challenges of raising a troubled child with tact and grace.  (Hears a “baba baba dook dook dook” knocking at the door) Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go throw holy water at my door to keep Mister Babadook away.

Saint Rita of Cascia, pray for us.