There’s a scene where the main character is doing a sales pitch and she’s holding a notebook with blank paper while saying improvised, awkward nonsense.

I think that was the pitch meeting for this movie.

This is my review of Christian Mingle The Movie!

Before I begin my rant, I will say that the two lead actors Lacey Chabert and Jonathan Patrick Moore give it their very best.  Also there is a good message about not using faith as a means to get what you want, and how your faith journey is your responsibility, not someone else’s.

(Commencing rant mode) However that message is buried in an awkward script with horrible writing scribbled all over.

Gwyneth (Lacey Chabert), Paul (Jonathan Patrick Moore) and Gwyneth’s friend Pam (Saidah Arrika Ekulona) are the only characters who actually act like believable people.  As for everyone else, I am diagnosing this movie with Caricature Syndrome.  Both the male and female characters are insultingly cartoonish.  The main character’s boss wears a sailor hat and acts like a goofy maritime captain because…potatoes!  His overacting made me cringe any time he was on screen.   Heck, even when he’s being serious, he still chews the scenery. Paul’s father is unrealistically peppy and spouts off Christian catchphrases every time he opens his mouth.  “Who talks like that?” I kept shouting during his scenes. Meanwhile most of the female characters fall into two categories: Superficial, one-note career gals who are only there to give advice to Gwyneth and sickly-sweet Bible study women who are all smiles, but man, can you feel the air of superioity around them.

Every. Single. Christian. Character is way too cheerful, to the point of coming off as artificial.  Yes, I believe that inner peace comes from faith in Jesus, but Christians are allowed to express more than one emotion.  Even the strongest believers are allowed to doubt, to get angry at God, to question His promises; that is all part of the faith journey.  The “eternally-carefree-Christian” trope reduces faith to something simplitic, and nothing ticks me off more than oversimplification of faith.

This movie is so desperate to be endearing that it falls into the realm of cutesy mindlessness.  While I’m sure the hearts of everyone involved were in the right place, the road to cinematic cheese is paved with lackluster writing.